Reflections on Parenting: Stop Complaining about your Church

As we get ever closer to the day our son will enter the world, well meaning people continue to give us the advice, "Do [activity x] now, because when the baby comes you won't get to do it anymore."  Now, I know that the folks who give us this advice are well meaning, and that they love their own children and wouldn't give them back for 10 million dollars; however, the way parenthood is often presented as martyrdom to not-yet-parents.

"When the kid comes, you won't get to golf anymore."

"When the kid comes, you won't get to go to movies anymore."

"When the kid comes, you won't get to sleep through the night anymore."

"When the kid comes, you won't have any time to take care of you anymore."

Just think about the video that went viral this past mother's day:

They made motherhood out to be slavery to your children.

And make me wonder if Captain Hook had it right.

But let's be honest, parenthood is not slavery to children.

And neither is being a pastor slavery to the church.

This next week, West Ohio clergy will gather at Lakeside for Annual Conference, and while I enjoy getting to go up and see friends and colleagues, my least favorite part of Annual Conference is the constant whining of pastors who complain about their churches.  "Those people are needy," "Those people are lazy," "Those people are stuck in 1971"... And the never-ending lamenting goes on and on.  If I didn't know better, I just might think that you hate your church.  And if you hate your church, then why would I ever want to be a part of it?

A few months back I was going through a frustrating situation at church, and while at the gym, I was complaining to my workout partner, and he said, "Man, sounds like the folks in your church really suck."  And a wave of conviction hit me,  because the folks in my church don't suck, in fact, I find myself on a weekly basis overwhelmed by the grace of God to put Cindy and I in a church that is so committed to discipleship, so committed to living out and sharing God's love.  My folks are awesome, and doing awesome ministry.  The only thing that sucked was my attitude, and my attitude gave my friend the impression that our church is not the sort of place he would be welcome.

If our default attitude leads us to complain about shortcomings, we will never be happy.  If we spend more time complaining about our spouse than we do praising them, we will have a miserable marriage.  If we spend more time complaining about our kids than we do enjoying them, we will be miserable parents.  If we spend more time complaining about our church than we do telling the story of God's faithfulness, then we will be miserable pastors.